“(getting a g-spot orgasm) and then it’ll never happen
again. Like getting a combo in a video game.”
~Gabe
“What is the sound of two balls juggling?”
~Bennifer
Bennifer:“I’d eat hot sauce off a nipple.”
El:“I wouldn’t put hot sauce on a nipple!”
~Bennifer
“I’m full of rice and cheese and beans. If you shook me up I
could become a sandwich.”
“Some form of dish is waiting inside me, like a Mexican
dish. I could become nachos.”
~Gabe
“Fuck you bunny! Face me like a man!”
~Gabe
“Damn El, you aren’t even playing!”
~Gabe
“SEVEN, COMB, TOOTHPASTE!”
~El
“I just wanna play a meaningless game that brings me joy.”
~Gabe
“There’s a reason most early Irish literature is lost, it
sucks.”
~Gabe
“It gave me a map…I do like maps.”
~Gabe
“I will find you Joe Calderone. I will find you and stare at
you for a little while.”
~Gabe.
“GAH! MY LAPTOP ATTACKED ME!”
~El
“It’s okay, I’m black Korean.”
~El
“They’re just a tiny people with tiny penises; it’s not fair
to put them up against regular people.”
~Gabe (when I informed him on the average length of a
Japanese man’s penis)
“Except for the North Koreans, that’s not even about being
Asian, that’s just karma.”
~Gabe
“That would have to be a pretty flexible erect penis because
usually erect penises are, you know, hard.”
~Gabe
El: *snorts*
Gabe: King Bumi what are you doing here?
Gabe: Give me a random major
El: business….fucking business majors, the sworn enemy of
all theatre majors.
El: Yesh thatsh right
Gabe:…..LEAVE SEAN CONNERY LEAVE!
Gabe: I can’t bust down a muthafuckin’ door with
muthafuckin’ dual wielding guns like freeze mothatfucka!
El: You sounded like you were about to start a rap there.
“WEABOO DO YOU SPEAK IT BAKA?!”
~El
“God is so tsundere”
~El
“Stephen King is so tsundere.”
~Gabe
Bennifer: We could be like a dubstep song.
Laura: Yeah totally, Kylen start throwing things at the
wall.
“Hot pot fuck it!”
~Gabe
“Excuse me, when did my roommate become a velociraptor?”
~Gabe
“This shall now be my religious zealot voice.”
~El
“Congrats on not killing anyone.”
~Unknown
Gabe: “I want one of those women I-Get me a prostitute!”
El: “Sure, I’ll save up my money and buy you a whore.”
Gabe: “I gave you a bagel”
Gabe” “They fell asleep as she was riding them and she was
like ‘well shit son! Hey you-!’”
El: “You there! Slave boy. Attend to my pussy.”
(on Empress Theodora)
“You’re (El in ghoul makeup) so cute you Satanic little
Samara.”
~Gabe
“I guess a twerking zombie girl isn’t that erotic.”
~El
“(to El) Cristopher Walken get out of my room! DON’T PEE
ON THE FLOOR CHRISTOPHER WALKEN!!!”
~Gabe
(well you see, I did a Walken impression and Gabe freaked out and I collapsed on the ground laughing and clutching my stomach. I figured I should clarify.)
“It’s not stupid it’s abstract.”
~Ben
“Teen mudder…nine months of trubble.”
~Captain
El: What just flew out of nowhere?
Laura: Your mother in a wetsuit, covered in nacho cheese.
“Period is that you?!”
~Elly
El: Look if we can be sexual to our food we can speak
romantically to it as well.
Gabe: Yeah, take our food out for a nice…meal?
“Fuck that, you think I got time to eat all that shit before
school? Fuck that balanced breakfast. I a’int drinking a glass of orange juice
and a glass of milk, I’ll have to pee all day!”
~El
El: Hey look “I’M MOTHERFUCKIN KAWAII DESU DESU!”……that’s
how I read it in my head anyway…
Gabe: My friend is not a black woman…
“Suddenly Walt Disney was like ‘let’s pump it up’!”
~Gabe
“Keep your mirth to a minimum.”
~Gabe
“SHIT! WHAT?”
~El (anytime Gabe starts laughing hysterically)
“Mario Party…wait fuck! No!”
~El (video game title to explain your sex life)
“There’s a Metallica concert going on in my stomach.”
~Gabriel
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