Fancy College Cuisine

So last night my friend (and future roommate) Laura and I got back from being front of house and working our college's production of Twelfth Night for about the fifth or sixth time. We were a bit tired and, as it was Friday night, we decided that fun times were in order...

So we decided to rent a movie. We went to the front desk and chose "He's Just Not That Into You" because we were in a chick flick type of mood.
I was starved (this is a rather normal state of being for me.)

Laura suggested I have some cheese balls.

Usually I never feel like having any and whenever she suggests I have some I often look at her with a sort of misery etched into all of my features...as if I can't bear the thought of eating these puffed,processed, and slightly stale cheese "snax."
At first I opted for a Snickers bar. Then suddenly I looked at the top of Laura's closet where the half gallon plastic jug of Cheese Balls sat as if I couldn't stand not eating them anymore.

 It was hypnotizing. Unfortunately I was far too short to get them off of the top of the closet so Laura got them for me and we settled in to watching glorious and witty love stories unfold on her T.V.

But then I noticed the Cheese Whiz...or rather "Kraft: Easy Cheese" sitting on top of the microwave.
Naturally I put some on top of a Cheese Ball.

Laura was a bit unsure and made me eat the first one. I threw it into my mouth with no hesitation and proceeded to chew it thoughtfully.
Delicious.
It was as though two mediocre cheese products had come together to create something delightfully tasty. I'm exaggerating a tad of course, but they were still pretty good. I think it was the combination of processed orange food dye and pasteurized cheese substance compounding on our hunger that made it taste way better than it actually did. Laura looked at me and asked;
"Why are these so good?" I replied in an impassioned voice full of wonder and amazement, "they aren't."


We ate them until we suddenly realized we were feeling nauseous.