“(getting a g-spot orgasm) and then it’ll never happen again. Like getting a combo in a video game.”
“What is the sound of two balls juggling?”
Bennifer:“I’d eat hot sauce off a nipple.”
El:“I wouldn’t put hot sauce on a nipple!”
“I’m full of rice and cheese and beans. If you shook me up I could become a sandwich.”
“Some form of dish is waiting inside me, like a Mexican dish. I could become nachos.”
“Fuck you bunny! Face me like a man!”
“Damn El, you aren’t even playing!”
“SEVEN, COMB, TOOTHPASTE!”
“I just wanna play a meaningless game that brings me joy.”
“There’s a reason most early Irish literature is lost, it sucks.”
“It gave me a map…I do like maps.”
“I will find you Joe Calderone. I will find you and stare at you for a little while.”
“GAH! MY LAPTOP ATTACKED ME!”
“It’s okay, I’m black Korean.”
“They’re just a tiny people with tiny penises; it’s not fair to put them up against regular people.”
~Gabe (when I informed him on the average length of a Japanese man’s penis)
“Except for the North Koreans, that’s not even about being Asian, that’s just karma.”
“That would have to be a pretty flexible erect penis because usually erect penises are, you know, hard.”
Gabe: King Bumi what are you doing here?
Gabe: Give me a random major
El: business….fucking business majors, the sworn enemy of all theatre majors.
El: Yesh thatsh right
Gabe:…..LEAVE SEAN CONNERY LEAVE!
Gabe: I can’t bust down a muthafuckin’ door with muthafuckin’ dual wielding guns like freeze mothatfucka!
El: You sounded like you were about to start a rap there.
“WEABOO DO YOU SPEAK IT BAKA?!”
“God is so tsundere”
“Stephen King is so tsundere.”
Bennifer: We could be like a dubstep song.
Laura: Yeah totally, Kylen start throwing things at the wall.
“Hot pot fuck it!”
“Excuse me, when did my roommate become a velociraptor?”
“This shall now be my religious zealot voice.”
“Congrats on not killing anyone.”
Gabe: “I want one of those women I-Get me a prostitute!”
El: “Sure, I’ll save up my money and buy you a whore.”
Gabe: “I gave you a bagel”
Gabe” “They fell asleep as she was riding them and she was like ‘well shit son! Hey you-!’”
El: “You there! Slave boy. Attend to my pussy.”
(on Empress Theodora)
“You’re (El in ghoul makeup) so cute you Satanic little Samara.”
“I guess a twerking zombie girl isn’t that erotic.”
“(to El) Cristopher Walken get out of my room! DON’T PEE ON THE FLOOR CHRISTOPHER WALKEN!!!”
(well you see, I did a Walken impression and Gabe freaked out and I collapsed on the ground laughing and clutching my stomach. I figured I should clarify.)
“It’s not stupid it’s abstract.”
“Teen mudder…nine months of trubble.”
El: What just flew out of nowhere?
Laura: Your mother in a wetsuit, covered in nacho cheese.
“Period is that you?!”
El: Look if we can be sexual to our food we can speak romantically to it as well.
Gabe: Yeah, take our food out for a nice…meal?
“Fuck that, you think I got time to eat all that shit before school? Fuck that balanced breakfast. I a’int drinking a glass of orange juice and a glass of milk, I’ll have to pee all day!”
El: Hey look “I’M MOTHERFUCKIN KAWAII DESU DESU!”……that’s how I read it in my head anyway…
Gabe: My friend is not a black woman…
“Suddenly Walt Disney was like ‘let’s pump it up’!”
“Keep your mirth to a minimum.”
~El (anytime Gabe starts laughing hysterically)
“Mario Party…wait fuck! No!”
~El (video game title to explain your sex life)
“There’s a Metallica concert going on in my stomach.”